This…

I’m not one of those people who airs their dirty laundry, well not usually or regularly, but only occasionally I offer pieces of me to this blog. Tonight, I just feel like I’ll never find a love of my own. Or maybe I’ll just never realize it’s existence. And tomorrow I’ll be fine. I won’t even think about what I just saw tonight. I’ll probably just force myself, like I do often to dismiss those who dismiss me. I’ve broken hearts before, far more than I thought I could or would. But I always told them the truth. I always gave them an out. I always told them it would never happen. We would never happen. But when I got lonely they answered the phone. When I got bored they joined me for dinner or a movie. When I was sick, they made me soup. Selfishly I took from them all of the things I needed, and didn’t offer them back. Rather, I couldn’t offer them back. But they knew. They knew. So now I’m looking up at the sky wondering why am I so impossible. The ones I want won’t love me back and the ones that want me, I just can’t. This life…