I Can’t Change

Even if I tried. Even if i wanted to. I think often about how I’ve managed to get to this very moment in life and time. I think about the decisions I’ve made, the people I’ve played, the lies I’ve told, and all of the truth’s that made me. Some truth’s I’ve never told. Maybe there are some tales I’ll never tell. But whether or not anyone ever gets to know every detail of what’s shaped me, I still can’t change. I still won’t. I’ll always feel destined to live what has been one of the most complicated lives I could imagine. And I’ll still be great! I’m truly on the verge of realizing my destiny. You know, that ONE thing that will be your legacy. That ultimate moment in time when I’m really more than I thought I could be. So I’ve been thinking and praying and planning and traveling and trying to learn everything that I need to learn to prepare me for that moment. And I’m terrified. More terrified of time not existing as long as I need it to. Terrified that I’ll choose the wrong door and only be half as fulfilled. Afraid to love the wrong person, the wrong career, the wrong city. But not terrified enough to not try. Not too terrified to pick up and leave. Not afraid to face whatever comes or whomever faces me.

Author: inmynativescribble

A Black man trying to face fear, the past, the present, and reconcile his future. Still.

5 thoughts on “I Can’t Change”

  1. You’re a wonderful man and I’m proud to call you a friend and my family. I pray you find peace in your soul, spirit, mind & body. We all one day will truly understand why our lives took the roads they did but until then trust God and stay on your knees with your head lifted high… Until we meet our Lord and see our Angels once again.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Man, the one thing I love is your honesty! There is nothing like knowing the person behind the photos. It just makes me want to know more about you! Good stuff man!

    Liked by 1 person

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