3:13 am

So… I’m just up thinking and should probably be working on the two papers that I have due this week, but I can never just focus on one thing at a time. Yet another gift and curse I’ve been blessed and doomed with. Anyway, I swear sometimes, my heart has a mind of its own. Who knew… Right? It’s just that, I recently celebrated another year on this earth and I feel like I don’t even know what’s next for me. I feel like stepping back from all of the things in my past that I’ve been holding on to. More specifically, I feel like I need to step back from all of the dudes in my past that I’ve been holding on to. Not that I’m out here being reckless, it’s just that I know I want more, but I know that all of the pieces have to fit. Like I’ve written before, everything that I write is about me first. All of the poems, all of the rants, all of the everything on Inmynativescribble.com is about ME FIRST. The only thing about that is, I don’t think I think about me first. So anyway this is where I seek refuge. This I can write what I want and not have to give anyone an explanation. I don’t have to break down what I mean, or care about who doesn’t like it. As much as I am a free spirit, and as much as I say things that many of you would dare not say or do for that matter, I am still very much strategic in the words that I choose, and the way that I choose to convey my feelings or thoughts. This may just sound like another rambling session of mine so I think I’ll just get to the point of why I am even awake at 3:13 am and what’s on my mind. I just want someone to love me back. I need him to just know what it is that I’m looking for and for him to just be it. I show people how I want to be treated. Now I just need everyone to get it.