I thought about you today. My mind just couldn’t break away.

I dreamed of you last night. Didn’t think I’d awake to so much insight.

I felt your touch. Damn! I miss you so much.

I wish you so much!

The thrill of you just won’t leave. Too bad we just can’t be.

Too bad he just won’t see. Too bad he won’t set me free.

I missed you today. My heart just couldn’t take the pain.

I saw you last night. Didn’t know he did too. He made me cry.

I looked into your eyes. Damn! You kissed my thighs.

I’m still high!

The feel of you won’t leave. Too bad we just be can’t be.

Too bad he just won’t see. Too bad he won’t set me free.

You saw me today. Lying there cold and dead, I still took your breath away.

He scared me last night. He told me he didn’t even want to fight.

I felt the steel. Damn! He came ready to kill.

I just stood still!

The life in me is gone. Too bad his life will go on.

Too bad I never loved him. Too bad he finally set me free.

*Okay okay… This one isn’t about me at all. Just me being more explorative in my writing.

3:13 am

So… I’m just up thinking and should probably be working on the two papers that I have due this week, but I can never just focus on one thing at a time. Yet another gift and curse I’ve been blessed and doomed with. Anyway, I swear sometimes, my heart has a mind of its own. Who knew… Right? It’s just that, I recently celebrated another year on this earth and I feel like I don’t even know what’s next for me. I feel like stepping back from all of the things in my past that I’ve been holding on to. More specifically, I feel like I need to step back from all of the dudes in my past that I’ve been holding on to. Not that I’m out here being reckless, it’s just that I know I want more, but I know that all of the pieces have to fit. Like I’ve written before, everything that I write is about me first. All of the poems, all of the rants, all of the everything on is about ME FIRST. The only thing about that is, I don’t think I think about me first. So anyway this is where I seek refuge. This I can write what I want and not have to give anyone an explanation. I don’t have to break down what I mean, or care about who doesn’t like it. As much as I am a free spirit, and as much as I say things that many of you would dare not say or do for that matter, I am still very much strategic in the words that I choose, and the way that I choose to convey my feelings or thoughts. This may just sound like another rambling session of mine so I think I’ll just get to the point of why I am even awake at 3:13 am and what’s on my mind. I just want someone to love me back. I need him to just know what it is that I’m looking for and for him to just be it. I show people how I want to be treated. Now I just need everyone to get it.

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