Come Undone

In a week or two I’ll have to delete your number. In a month or two, your email. In a year or two most traces of you will be gone. But now you’re the new “compared to” no one else could don. It took five years to get here. We knew the time would come. Five years of love, hate, and a friendship come undone.

There’s nothing left to say anymore. We’ve said all we could. There’s nothing left to pay anymore. We’ve paid all we should. I broke your heart! I’m sorry! But I told you I would. You were in love and I wasn’t. I’m sorry I held you hostage, still in search of love. I know that was selfish. And with you I fell in love platonically, because for me there was no magic.

The friendship is over now too. We finally saw all of the signs. No more traces. No more spaces. No more twisted lines. I’m sorry you weren’t enough for me and I wasn’t enough for you either. I always thought love would be just enough. I used to think that if I tried harder, you could have been the one. Instead it was five years of love, hate, and a friendship come undone.


I thought about you today. My mind just couldn’t break away.

I dreamed of you last night. Didn’t think I’d awake to so much insight.

I felt your touch. Damn! I miss you so much.

I wish you so much!

The thrill of you just won’t leave. Too bad we just can’t be.

Too bad he just won’t see. Too bad he won’t set me free.

I missed you today. My heart just couldn’t take the pain.

I saw you last night. Didn’t know he did too. He made me cry.

I looked into your eyes. Damn! You kissed my thighs.

I’m still high!

The feel of you won’t leave. Too bad we just be can’t be.

Too bad he just won’t see. Too bad he won’t set me free.

You saw me today. Lying there cold and dead, I still took your breath away.

He scared me last night. He told me he didn’t even want to fight.

I felt the steel. Damn! He came ready to kill.

I just stood still!

The life in me is gone. Too bad his life will go on.

Too bad I never loved him. Too bad he finally set me free.

*Okay okay… This one isn’t about me at all. Just me being more explorative in my writing.


Time is just ticking

No life, no gigs

No wife, no kids

No prospects, but still no fear

The clock is still clicking

Twenty-nine is here, the future is near

No bride, but maybe a groom

And kids will be here soon

Inevitably, law is my chosen doom

My heart is still beating

I am still singing

New chances for love are still ringing my phone

Who cares if I sing in the shower when I’m alone

My brain is still thinking

My career is still gleaming

I still have no fear

I only cry joyous tears

And I’m still standing right here.

No Beef

I ain’t beefin’, I just don’t care.

You didn’t when I was eight.

Now you’re hurting deeply, yet still, no apology.

Now the life in me, to you is oh so deadly.

The love you never gave, you now want to share.

But I ain’t beefin’, I just don’t care.

Life just ain’t fair, not even when you’re fifty.

And you only ever gave me heartache to bear.

Now you’re hurting deeply, yet still, no apology.

Your venomous rein’s pierced my soul, and tainted my destiny.

All I ever wanted was to be more than your spare.

But I ain’t beefin’, I just don’t care.

Your head is pounding now from the beat of my snare.

You can only think of me. I’ll always be in your head.

Now you’re hurting deeply, yet still, no apology.

After all of the beatings, and all of your hypocrisy

Now you feel the fear that you once instilled in me.

And you’re hurting deeply, yet, still no apology.

But I ain’t beefin’, I just don’t care.

Friends and Kin

I guess no one can hurt you like true friends and kin. You know, those who, deep down in your heart,  can always be forgiven. The ones you love, even you when you’re mad or hurt.  The ones you care for even with their dirt.  All can't be close daily, but always know where they stand.  But those whose heart connects with yours know they're always your friend.  A friendship even in kinship remains the closer bond of the two.  Because a friendship is something you've chosen to grow into, and kinship is not a choice and very much something you simply do.

The raw emotions range from the bitter to the sweet, and the thicker to the thin. But knowing that your love for them and theirs for you helps to maintain your status as friends. Even when you're still hurting from something in the past,  a friendship with depth and one in truth will always and forever last. 


No Thanks Given

Not this year. Not to you. Not another year looking at your faces and seeing straight through you.

Not over dinner, not even a fat turkey. Not over drinks, and not even if you’re hurting.

Not because it may be the last, as it was 21 years in the past.

Nah, I aint doing it. Not with ya’ll ass.

Not if I’m off, because really I am. Not if you’re lost, because really you can’t.

And I can’t even look at you without being mad. I can’t even think of it without being sad. I can’t even trust you because of the past.

Not this year, not to you, not with this family. You can bet your ass!

This year, there’ll be No Thanksgiving, and No Thanks Given because I’m still bitter, and you’re not yet forgiven.

Just Wondering…

Just wondering when you don’t feel it anymore, when you’re not hurting anymore, when you’re not angry anymore, when you’re not bitter anymore.

Just wondering when you’re not resentful anymore, when you’re not screaming anymore, when you’re not crazy anymore, when you’re not pissed anymore.

Just wondering when you’re okay to move on, when you’re not crying anymore, when you’re not lying to yourself anymore, when you’re not tripping anymore.

Just wondering when you’re able to live once more.

I was just wondering.


Will you just Stay?

Even when the path ahead looks a little bleak

Even when we have a fight, say you’ll still speak

Speak to my heart with your words, my soul with your passion, and speak to my mind with your own

Promise me you’re here to Stay and you won’t ever leave me alone

Even if I snore sometimes, or pass gas in my sleep

Even when I’m moody and sound angry when I speak

Even when I get sick and need you to Stay with me

Even when I’ve lost myself, help me to get back to our beat

When I yell for no rhyme or reason, just hold me close to soothe my soul

All I really want to know is if you’ll be with me through the cold

When I cry myself to sleep some nights, don’t turn the other way

Wrap your arms around me to take the pain away

When our children get here and sometimes we disagree,

Tell me it’s not about you or me, we’ve got to do what’s best for our family

When the world is against me, please Stay by my side

Remind me that you’re not leaving, and you’re here to ride or die

When we’re old and gray and wrinkly too

Say you’ll still love me the way that I love you.

In My Native Scribble

In my native scribble I write with complete disregard for those who place themselves above me, because in the end they’re beneath it all.

In my native scribble I speak of the unjust rules that are in place, because they are not there to make me strong, they are there to make me a slave.

In my native scribble I depict my mind wandering free, because in my harsh reality I’m not allowed to speak my peace.

In my native scribble I can describe the pain I feel, and to the opposition, I will never, ever yield.

Through my native scribble my spirit remains alive, and though I may not always be here, my spirit, it will never die.

Through my native scribble I can break down all barriers, and through the words that I write, I’ve become the “Lone Warrior”.

In my native scribble I’ve written a song I love to sing, and because of that song, my freedom, one will certainly ring.

In my native scribble its clear my situation sucks, but if you can’t define any of the words I’ve used, too bad, go and look them up!

Me & You

Infinite possibilities and definite instability.

The beginning of loves trilogy, of love, war, and love again.

A constant struggle to try and make this happen.

But that old ex-factor seems to be a war I just can’t win.

It must be me, its just gotta be.

Something about me pushes you away, while the rest of me force’s you to stay.

Who knew the emotions of the heart could cause so much dismay?

I try to pray, but don’t know what to ask for.

I try to stay, but don’t know if I can take anymore.

Torn in two by the idea of me alone, and the idea of me and you.

So confused, can’t fathom me alone, aloof and askew.

So just tell me what to do, because if you ask me…

I want it to be Me & You!

More To Me

Ferragamo’s on my feet, a Hugo trench on my back,

But please believe it’s not about what I wear.

There’s so much more to me than that.

I’m forthright and direct, genuine and true.

I believe in my abilities, even when belief is not in you.

I’m a man of greatness, my true greatness, not yet achieved.

So why should I care, what anyone else thinks of me?

I’m full of life and love experience and I’m wise too.

I seek a change in a system, so corrupted and askew.

A worldly system, so plagued with discrimination,

is a system that will fall, and fail in recuperation.

Through determination, I’ll do my best to make you aware.

I’m an educated Black Man, America’s worst nightmare!

I Can Love You

I can love you from mountains men can’t climb,

I can love you from places where there’s no space or time.

I can love you in light and darkness just the same,

For my love is so powerful in cannot be tamed or contained.

I can love you underwater, 10,000 feet deep,

I can love you without oxygen, because you’re the air that I breathe.

I can love you up close and a millions miles away,

I love you in the past, future and especially present day.

I can love you so deeply and strong, and with perfect aim,

I love you so much, I can love you passed your pain.


Seemingly you’re a gentle breeze, and masculine with great ease.

When I see you a weakness comes over my knees, and I find it hard to breathe.

Every Night you’re in my dreams, and everyday you’re all I want to see.

Not sure what you’re doing to me, but don’t stop, I beg of you…PLEASE!

It doesn’t feel right without you beside me each night.

Don’t know what to do about this inevitable plight, but whatever it takes, whatever the cost, for you I will fight.

The secrecy is killing me, and my emotions are filling me, up and up and away, without shame, not playing any games.

I’m losing my mind, waiting for just one sign, praying that you won’t decline.

So I ask, will you be mine?

When you speak to me I tremble.

When you look at me I envision, my life with you, my time with you.

I don’t know what to do.

This battle I cannot lose, it’s winning I choose.


To me you mean the world.

A beautiful woman, and inside, a talented little girl.

The words you spit soothe my soul, and the melodies you sing capture my world.

Because of you, I know “When It Hurts So Bad” why it feels so good.

And “Nothing Even Matters”, but really I knew it would.

Through my own “Miseducation” I’ve “Lost Ones” and did “That Thing”.

But “Just Like The Water”, I’ve found “Peace of Mind”.

Now “Everything is Everything”.

Finally Over (9-21-2008)

Finally over, finally done. The final chapter, I’ve finally won.

I’ve gotten my heart back; mind, body and soul too.

I’ve finally had my closure and I’m finally over you.

You tried to defend the position you claim.

You tried to confuse me one last time by deflecting the blame.

But this time I was finally able to tell you the truth about how you made me feel.

I was finally able to tell you the truths you never tried to hear.

You said it will never be over, because you’ll never let me go.

You said you’d always be in my head, but there’s something you didn’t know.

I’m stronger and wiser, and can see myself through the tears.

I realized I was strong all along, and after all these years.

So maybe you can admit it now, or somewhere down the line.

But this time it’s finally over, and my feelings for you are no longer blind.

While I’m certain, no one loved you more than me, and no one ever will

I’m finally done, it’s finally over, even if your will won’t yield.


When I was sixteen, I met a man

3 months went by before our love affair began

Caught all up in his charm

Never thought he’d do me any harm

But a nine-year difference in age made me an easy target to manipulate

I’d never felt this way

So I was easily swayed into the lies he told

I couldn’t imagine what was about to unfold

At the start of it, our love was bliss

Often I’d awake to his morning kiss

I was living in a dream

Until I realized it was all an evil scheme

But now I’m older, and I see

He didn’t really love me

He just controlled me, cause I was naïve

He began to take my thoughts away, replacing them with his own

I’d try to leave, and he’d make me stay saying he couldn’t be alone

He never wanted to be with me, just wanted me under his control

It took me a while to figure it out, but I got wise cause the shit got old

Now I’m on top and he’s down low

Now he’s oblivious to my flow

He may not now, but one day he will know

What comes around will come, and what goes around will go.

Good Luck Chuck

How we meet is how we’ll leave.

Oh God! Why does this have to be?

How can love come so fast, then leave so abruptly?

How can he whisper sweet nothings, and then change his mind so swiftly?

Maybe he just can’t handle what he wants, so what he has is his destiny.

Destined to be with her, instead of with me.

Destined to be complacent, too afraid to take a leap.

He can’t stray away from life’s pedantic rules.

He’s so bogged down with fear; he’s unable to choose.

He’s too indecisive for me, and I can’t wait around and still lose.

So I must move on, unafraid to make my own rules.

I’m falling out of love, slowly and steadily.

I’m changing my mind about him, and I’m almost ready.

I’m leaving him alone, no more emails or telephones.

Got Damn it, I’m grown and not afraid of being on my own.

I’m stepping away from him to offer my life to another to share.

He’s finally out of my system…

No more Good Luck Chuck and truth or dare.


The only patience I ever knew was the patience it took to be in love with you.

I take my time in everything I do, and I pray every night to ensure my heart is true.

Every thought in my mind is a thought of you.

Thoughts of a relationship, creative and new.

Your presence is bittersweet and often sweeps me off my feet.

Your walk is tantalizing, masculine, and unique.

I love to dream about you at night when I’m asleep.

My mind is always craving you.

My brain it has no peace.

Your way is elusive, passionate and discreet.

My heart, it pounds for you and sometimes skips a beat.

I love you so much and pray you never leave.

Cause baby, you’re a breath of life, and I need to breathe.

No Longer Your Little Secret

I’m here to stay, and here to make my own way. Love it or Leave it, is what I have to say. So long ago I was afraid. Afraid of what I thought you might think of me. Afraid that you would belittle me. Afraid to be me. ME!!!! I know who “Me” is. I know who “I” am, and I know what I wont accept. You don’t have to believe in me, it won’t matter anyway. But you will Listen!!!! You’ll listen because you’re drawn to me, and what I’m saying. You’ll listen because it has substance. You’ll listen because I’m shouting from the Mountain Tops!!!! You’ll listen because you don’t have a choice! I’m not what you expect of me. I wont ever fit into your box. I’m never going to say what you want me to say, or feel what you think I should. YOU DON’T OWN ME!!!! YOU CAN’T CONTROL ME!!!! But you will listen! You can’t hide me, or shut me up! You can’t deny my rights because your life’s messed up. You can’t contain my Spirit, because you didn’t give it to me! So what makes you think you can just take it away? I’m not your secret! I won’t hide behind you or follow your command. I won’t let you walk in front of me when we should be walking hand in hand. If you don’t want me, then you can go. And please don’t ever think you’re “Irreplaceable”! You see, I have the “Gift Of Goodbye”! Ask those from my past and they’ll tell you why. I’m a Free Spirit, not some dirty little secret. I’m a human being, and I have feelings. If you want the truth, you have to live in truth. When you hide who you are, to appease the masses, the only one who get hurt is you. YOU!!! “The Truth, It Needs No Proof!” I don’t owe you a thing. And I don’t have to prove anything. I’ll just say, I’m not 15 anymore. I’m not a little boy. I’m not impressionable, and I’m not your play toy. I’m not still in High School and far too old to still be a fool. I’ll never be what you want me to. I’ll be what God created in me, not what he created in you. So, love it or leave, but show me some respect, cause I’m no longer willing to be your little secret!

Vision of You

A picturesque idea you are

Like an emotional fantasy gone too far

A dream cast from a shooting star

A conspiracy theory with no ending part

You can’t imagine the things I see

A future so bright with you and me

A love so clear and destined to stay

Like a clear sky with no sign of rain

This is my poetic justice I offer today

With all the do rights, no wrongs done in your name

I hope my efforts are not in vain

Or an unjust rhapsody concluded with pain

We’re nearing a future where true feelings come to light

And love is no longer blind it too will have sight

Trust is the key to open the door

A door with no walls so love can live once more

The Love You’re Compared To

The Love you’re compared to was born in 1999, in a place deep down inside with no perception of time. So sublime, that love was all mine. It was written in the stars, I could see the signs. A love that’s forever, we knew it then, but our fate was a break up because our ideals wouldn’t blend. Over the years we stayed in touch, and together we even spent time. We laughed, we cried, and still managed to argue half the time. A deeper connection grew, even through the distance. We met other people, and made even more commitments. Eventually a friendship ensued, one in truth without limitations or fear of what we knew. This love loves me loves me far more than you do.

The Love You’re compared to doesn’t harbor grudges or judge my past. This love doesn’t point any fingers or try to keep any tabs. This love never yields and always remains true. This love loves me far more than you do.

I Love You too, I really do, but not more than I love “The Love You’re Compared To”.

I Remember Daddy

I remember daddy, the man I never wanted to be

I remember daddy, the man who could never be me

No one ever saw the things I would see

And no one could believe the pain that I hold so deep

You see, this man he wasn’t my daddy,

He was just a man who tried to be

I guess it made him feel like a man

To beat me until he bruised my whole body

Beat me while I stood, Watched me as I fell

Beat me on the bed, made me hold on to the rail

He tried to make me a man, Oh well I guess he failed

Cause if a man is what he was

I’d rather take the “L”

I remember daddy, the man I never wanted to be

I remember daddy, the man who could never be me

No one ever saw the things I would see

And no one could believe the pain that I hold so deep

Now I’m all grown up and left his evil clutch

Now I have a voice,

So these days he doesn’t say much

We go on as if there’s no tension there

But the tension’s so thick it clouds the air

I guess now he knows, I’m not scared

But now he must face it

The truth, He will bear!

I’ve waited so long for his respect,

I’m sure I have it now,

Cause now I make him sweat

I remember daddy, the man I never wanted to be

I remember daddy, the man who could never be me

No one ever saw the things I would see

And no one could believe the pain that I hold so deep

Life for me ain’t been no Crystal Stair

But growing up, I learned to grin and bear

I got out alive, and made it this far

I’ve come a long way, with only a few scars

And the life I once lived will always remain

But the life I once lived did not make me insane

I remember daddy, the man I never wanted to be

I remember daddy, the man who could never be me

No one ever saw the things I would see

And no one could believe the pain that I hold so deep

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